Paging David Byrne?

My God.

How did I get here?

I haven't written anything to show for myself in two years. Everything keeps changing, and I'm struggling to find a foothold somewhere in the gray. At the same time, I'm not panicking. It seems that all the elements of my life (The universe? Everything?) have kind of aligned to get me here. I've experienced loss across the entire spectrum, but for the first time, I actually feel fortified by it. I'm standing, alone, with nothing to prop me up but my own sheer will.

And it's awesome.

I'm doing better than I ever thought possible. I haven't shattered into a thousand pieces, not when my brother died, not when my family fell apart, not when I left a relationship that wasn't making either of us happy and moved to a new apartment. I'm now in a (metaphysical) place that feels entirely foreign to me - and as an Earth sign, this is inherently something I don't do well with - but, I haven't completely lost my shit.

I turn 29 tomorrow. I'm so ready to be done with my 20's, but I'm going to make this last year really count. I'm going to do better than I ever have before. I'm going to trust myself, listen to the voices that encourage rather than discourage. I'm not going to be scared of uncertainty anymore, because what has my life been like these past few years? Everything has been uncertain, and continues to be. I have no idea what's coming, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to control the outcome, except adjust how I respond to it.

So, life...